Danen and Goliath

Move over David, Goliath has a new arch nemesis… Me. After 24 years of living a talentless life, I’ve discovered a hidden talent that was buried deep within my being… slinging stones. We went to the Elah valley to recreate the battle of champions between David the Israelite and Goliath the Philistine. After the reenactment was completed, our teacher demonstrated the proper slinging technique. To get the full picture of what went down I need to tell you a little more about my religion professor. Dr. Draper stands at a good 6’2” tall and probably weighs a lurpy 170 lbs. He is 65 years old and has shiny white hair, yellow-tinted veneers, and thick-lensed glasses that distort the shape of his eyes. He has a slightly curved back and stands with his neck slopped forward. I doubt that he was ever much of an athlete. The old man grabs a sling, cradles a rock inside it, and his flabby arm sets the sling in motion. After whipping the sling around the top of his head, he winds up to send the stone flying. The whole group anxiously looks on, expecting the stone to fly long and straight. Dr. Drapers arm slings forward and he releases the rock. Whiz, thump, uuuugh. The stone whizzes sideways out of the sling, bounces off the ground, and nails Whitney right in the thigh. I was fully expecting her to drop straight to the ground but she took it like a champ, didn’t even cry. Everyone was laughing under their breath.



After he gave us the demonstration, he let us loose with a bunch of slings. This is when I discovered my talent for slinging rocks. I didn’t find it to be difficult but apparently it is because we had several people hit themselves in the head with rocks. My technique was immaculate and nobody that challenged me could sling the stone farther or more accurately. I am going to bring home some slings so my nephews, half brothers, and I can play with them. I’m sure my sister is going love that.



My friends and I got a little bored and found other uses for the slings. Either way, they’re deadly.



This is Whitney and I heading down into a cistern. (a big man made cave that holds water)